Thursday, November 15, 2012

Life's Dance

I still dream of a dance I had once...
beautiful things often leave us wondering if they will ever come again.

A few thoughts and random words here, I do hope that it resonates somewhere within each of you.  I feel that maybe I'm not the only one who wonders these things or desires these things.  One thing for certain, Life changes everyday- thus so do we in small ways.  Do I mean that we change entirely?  No, our core person- that something inside us that makes us who we are- always stays the same.  But our thoughts, our desires, indeed our reflections change because of what we see, experience, and learn in each new day of our lives.  My purpose with this post is just that I want a place to write out loud so to speak....maybe I'll write something meaningful, maybe I won't.  The important thing here is just to get myself to write what I often think and wonder so that I can reflect on it later.  Hopefully you all don't mind reading into "Me".

I find myself doing alot of self reflection lately.  I've worked at my current job for almost 8 years.  Do I love it?  Yes...and no.  Yes I love the look on the client's face who've I helped keep their home and avoid foreclosure. Yes, I love the look on a new homeowner's face that we've just built a Habitat home for.  Yes, I have a heart full of thankfulness that we've yet helped another community homeowner with much needed repairs that they couldn't afford. and Yes, I love knowing that in the time I've been here, we've served over 900 families.

900 Families is a whole lot. 

But then there is my family, my home, and my own heart that often gets neglected. 

I want to be a better provider for my kids, but I want balance in my life as well. Time to spend with the kids, time to work on my books and my singing.  Time to tidy up my home and make the improvements it needs. Time to spend with friends and time to go dancing every now and then. time to travel and learn new things. I want to feel like I get to live...really live and yet, I feel so compelled to help others first. 

Always, I'm asking myself, "How do I get to do both?  How do I find a way to balance my life and my work?"  I keep stretching, keep mulling over every idea I can think of to make the two worlds mesh better.  Until then, I give all I can to my work and hope I have enough energy to squeeze in helping with homework, making sure the house is generally cleaned up, and write in my books each night.  Not all of it gets done each day...but I continually try. 

 Hopefully I will find my answer to balance one day and until then, I keep holding onto my believe that it will happen....that I will really show myself that I can dance this beautiful thing called Life.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season this year!

Thank you to each of you for managing to make time to read my small thoughts, poems, and other various writings that I've posted over the years.  I may not be on here nearly as much as I used to be, but sometimes we need time and space between the different stages of our lives and it is often reflected in our writing, or lack thereof, as is the case with me and my blogger posts this year.  Hopefully you'll see another poem or two on here before the year is out :)  Otherwise, again to you all- Have a safe and wonderful Holiday season!

April