Thursday, November 15, 2012

Life's Dance

I still dream of a dance I had once...
beautiful things often leave us wondering if they will ever come again.

A few thoughts and random words here, I do hope that it resonates somewhere within each of you.  I feel that maybe I'm not the only one who wonders these things or desires these things.  One thing for certain, Life changes everyday- thus so do we in small ways.  Do I mean that we change entirely?  No, our core person- that something inside us that makes us who we are- always stays the same.  But our thoughts, our desires, indeed our reflections change because of what we see, experience, and learn in each new day of our lives.  My purpose with this post is just that I want a place to write out loud so to speak....maybe I'll write something meaningful, maybe I won't.  The important thing here is just to get myself to write what I often think and wonder so that I can reflect on it later.  Hopefully you all don't mind reading into "Me".

I find myself doing alot of self reflection lately.  I've worked at my current job for almost 8 years.  Do I love it?  Yes...and no.  Yes I love the look on the client's face who've I helped keep their home and avoid foreclosure. Yes, I love the look on a new homeowner's face that we've just built a Habitat home for.  Yes, I have a heart full of thankfulness that we've yet helped another community homeowner with much needed repairs that they couldn't afford. and Yes, I love knowing that in the time I've been here, we've served over 900 families.

900 Families is a whole lot. 

But then there is my family, my home, and my own heart that often gets neglected. 

I want to be a better provider for my kids, but I want balance in my life as well. Time to spend with the kids, time to work on my books and my singing.  Time to tidy up my home and make the improvements it needs. Time to spend with friends and time to go dancing every now and then. time to travel and learn new things. I want to feel like I get to live...really live and yet, I feel so compelled to help others first. 

Always, I'm asking myself, "How do I get to do both?  How do I find a way to balance my life and my work?"  I keep stretching, keep mulling over every idea I can think of to make the two worlds mesh better.  Until then, I give all I can to my work and hope I have enough energy to squeeze in helping with homework, making sure the house is generally cleaned up, and write in my books each night.  Not all of it gets done each day...but I continually try. 

 Hopefully I will find my answer to balance one day and until then, I keep holding onto my believe that it will happen....that I will really show myself that I can dance this beautiful thing called Life.

Hope everyone has a wonderful holiday season this year!

Thank you to each of you for managing to make time to read my small thoughts, poems, and other various writings that I've posted over the years.  I may not be on here nearly as much as I used to be, but sometimes we need time and space between the different stages of our lives and it is often reflected in our writing, or lack thereof, as is the case with me and my blogger posts this year.  Hopefully you'll see another poem or two on here before the year is out :)  Otherwise, again to you all- Have a safe and wonderful Holiday season!


Friday, August 10, 2012

I wanted to write..

I wanted to write something.
Something that told the world
just what feelings might say-
yet nothing comes out.
If I let my feelings
explore their hurts,
then words that I can't take back
might be spilled here...

and I don't want to do that.

So I take comfort with my courage,
to face my fears in daylight.
because there's nothing else to do-
but believe in myself, in my dreams.
I'm not the only one in the world with hurts,
with trials, with endless nights of loneliness and tears.

No I'm not the only one, but I carry my hope...
A Hope that keeps me going.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Faded Voices

By: April L. Gerard

Our voices
were once heard.

Tears, Laughter,
small daily details
or thoughts on dreams
and passing ideas
were once shared between
each of us.

We don't seem to do that
much anymore.

Alexander's invention
now sends silent words
that never fill a conversation
and tie us to an e- world
void of human touch.

Yes, Our voices were
once heard.

Maybe its a sign of the times,
maybe its just me.
but somethings just
shouldn't be discarded so easily.

and what of handwritten letters?
Words we couldn't say out loud,
but wanted to say?
When did we forget those?

Our human history is filled
with the need to write,
to express our thoughts
into meaningful words.

Yet we no longer write
by hand anymore. 

Our voices..
they were once heard.

They mean something,
they carry our songs
and I wonder...
when did ovr voices
lose their beauty?

Tell me,
When will we hear them again?

Friday, April 6, 2012

Remember Your Dreams

Hello to all my dear Readers,

It has been quite a while since I've posted. I know I had mentioned earlier this year that it might be that way for a while.  Life it seems, has really kept me busy.  Its been a good year though.  My daughter is now done with her chemo..a whole year's worth of them that we can finally move on from.  She's doing wonderful, quite the typical 12 year old these days :) 

I've been writing alot lately, although not on here.  My quest to complete my fictional novel the one you know as Kipleyarren over there on my word counter off to the sidebar where I woefully neglected to update the actual number of words written) has finally been met and now, I'm doing the edits,etc.  The title has changed of course, and there are quite a few major revisions I need to do, but I am getting there.  No matter where my writing takes me, I'm most proud of the fact that I finished what I started.  Goals are not always the easiest things to achieve, but when we persevere and have faith in ourselves- then indeed our dreams, our goals become our reality- one slow and steady step at a time.

Which brings me to the thought that brought me back here to my blog today.  If there was one thing I wanted to tell the world its this:
Dreams are worth more than anything anyone could ever offer you.  They feed our souls, give us a sense of accomplishment and worth.  Never, ever let anyone stop you from doing what you love- because believe me, there are many out there who would gladly rob you of your dreams because of their need to believe in their own percieved notion of how reality should work.

Give your dreams their wings and you'll find a part of you that you long thought you'd lost somewhere along the way as each day that came took you further into your own adulthood.  And as you reach for those things you always wanted to try, be kind enough to encourage those around you to do the same.  Dreams should never be stolen...they were meant to be real and alive with our hearts and our passions for them.

Have a wonderful week everyone :)

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Waking Dreams

By April L. Gerard

There's a sway of meandering thoughts running through my head
A pause fragmented in imaginations examined and carefully thought out-
mixing of memories with dreamed up ideas and hopes- those long ago wishes
that leave the mind wandering down roads yet not traveled.

There are things we think out, strands of seemingly unrelated things
that catch our breaths, spill out our canvass of desires, and stop our thoughts cold.
Moments where we suddenly realize what we feel, who we are, and what we want.
The tangled saids and unsaids, roads we chose not take & roads we've already taken.

There within our mind's eye are streams of life's every angle,
the key to the insides of our soul's heart are these thoughts that wander in our heads.
What we have yet to learn about who we are and what we have yet to know we need-
all of it is here in the land of our thoughts, the scene of our waking dreams.