Monday, April 18, 2011

To Learn to Hold an Ocean

Written by April L. Gerard

Silence is sometimes better said out loud,
than any words that could be spoken.
So few can hear what it says though.

It often says so much,
sometimes more than we knew existed.

An ocean of depths within,
feelings locked for safe keeping.
No one ever asks how deep does it go.

Easier for most to not ask,
so they don't have to hurt enough to care.

Crimson skies were once painted
in days where childish laughter should have lived-
leaving blues of water that never shed from the eyes.

Pain that shut the doors of trust in others.

Doesn't mean there's no hope for it though.
Seeds of trust can be sown as nature reminds that
even rains grow things; make them stronger.

Such a rarity of courage and strength born,
uniqueness in its own right of perception and kindness.
Still lonely keeps company...
'till we learn how to hold an ocean.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Child's Eye

It has been a while since I've managed to write something I wanted to share.  My youngest child inspired this writing..I hope you all enjoy :)

 Child's Eye  by April Gerard


Wings rushing in the air,
winds bending down to stroke the grass
and soft sounds of nature in my ears.

Solitude. This is my mind's imaginations
for the moment, until...
little feet patter down the stairs.
She has not gone to bed as she should.

I try to be patient with her, as I remind her the time
and still she questions endlessly,
"Why does bedtime have to come?
Why does winter and Summer and spring come?"

and I tell her,"I don't know why really,
cause thats the way God made things-
to teach us to learn and grow with changes I think."

She clasps her little hands together,
eyes sparkling with thought.
Then she says,

"But I wish it would snow in summer. No wait,
I really wish it would snow in Spring-
so we can have flowers at the same time.
Wouldn't that be really cool Mom??!"

She reminds me of what it means to be
open to possibilities with this statement.

Maybe I should remember more often,
just how it might look, to look on the world
with a child's eye.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Good News to Share

well, I have been writing quite alot on this here blog of mine- just not published any of it yet.  Mostly that's due to the fact that I've been worn out here lately between taking my daughter to her doctor visits, work, and all the things in between. I have noticed that my drafts that I have not shared on here are not quite the positive and upbeat thoughts that I would normally try to write.  But, they are in a lot of ways very theraputic for me to reflect and think on.  Interesting the things you learn about yourself when you read what you've wrote as though it came from someone else entirely..

Anyways, I want to share some extremely good news with everyone- according to the tests earlier this week, my daughter's tumor almost non-existent now!!! there is only a spot that is aproximately a millimeter wide left.  which means she now gets to go to every 3 weeks of chemo instead of every week!!!  Its been challenging to say the least to get used to our new schedule and to get used to her moods swings - the result of being a pre-teen as well as a patient undergoing therapy :)

But she does really well and for the most part has a very positive attitude about the whole thing, which makes me very proud of her. She even makes the nurses/doctors laugh with her antics sometimes and she's made quite a few new friends at the clinic as well.

So that's it for now.  I promise to you all that I will get back into posting on here again...it just might be a slow transition as I learn to manage and juggle the Life happening around me :)  But for now, I'd like to share a song that I found yesterday that I really like.  It seems to say to me, no matter what happens in life- all is not lost and you are not lost in it...