Tuesday, August 31, 2010

of Dreams


Picture contributed by Shadow, blog author of 1 door away from Heaven, and one of my best friends through blogger. All rights to this image are hers.



 of Dreams by April L. Gerard

This,
This is what I've dreamed for so long.
There is a story here,
untold,
unheard,
outside of the periphery
of possiblities thought up
by commonness.
By comforts clung to.
But I dream,
I dream of this,
this tranquil sea.
These moments
of my impossibilites
becoming possible;
of Dreams
made of these.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Cracked open


Image by Dreamofsandman from Deviantart,edited by Ajey Padival




Cracked Open By April Gerard

A peak,
a bit of light shines
through the crack
in the door.

A barrenness here..

Not supposed to
be able to see it.

Frustrations
bottled emptiness.

Let them out!
But how can things be let out,
when its all just empty anyway?

Something..
something's changed

possibilities,
hope?  Don't know.

The crack,
it shouldn't be there,
the wall should've held steady.

Yet,
the pictures..
they look different now.

Somethings changed.
some things change.

Fears?  Don't know.

But there's a crack
where there wasn't one before...

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

These are Mine



Photo art created and contributed by Ajey Padival, any and all rights of this image are his and is used with his permission.

These are Mine by April L.Gerard

Breathe.
Isn't it beautiful? 
hands to do what good can be sown,
these..these are mine.

Air pulled in deep,
a sense of life..of living.
Excitement at what these hands are doing,

yes..

these..these are mine.
I think with a satisfied smile..these are mine.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Catching Dreams

I've been in a mood of sorts lately.  Lots of stressers and ups and downs, but they are good for me. Helping me understand what and where I really want to go. Its all reaffirming for me that the goals I'm working towards are the ones I need to do and can do in this life.  I'm just keeping on moving forward with all these dreams I've got, even the ones that I'm not sure I can do somedays when I'm feeling overwhelmed with everything. It seems there are connections and networks being placed in front of me...not to mention certain signs in life that are reminding me of just exactly what it is I'm good at and can do, if I just let myself.  So that is what I've been working on. 

My book is progressing, slowly but it is getting there.  I've joined an art group, which is one of the best things I've done for myself in a long time.  It helping to open up the creative block that I felt I was having for awhile. I've also been going to karoake with Triana, trying to get myself used to singing again in front of people. So far, so good.  though I'm going to need more practice at it than just karoake..but I'm working on that as well.

anyways, I realize I'm just rambling on here, but I just wanted to say to everyone what I always say: keep chasing those dreams till you catch them and make them real enough that you can look back and say, "I did that." 

Here is a song that I've been listening to lately that I'm really liking and while it doesn't exactly fit my theme here of catching dreams, it does sort of describe my up and down mood that I've been in as of late...

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Lost







Lost by April Gerard
written on 6-8-2010


Trembles
these hesitations,
finding
the way
it moves.

Truthful
yet obligations,
seep
the tone
infused.

Terrified
remnants open,
taken
the voice
of muse.

Turned
many directions,
lost
the sound
of you.

Tallied
youth generations,
told
the lost
anew.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Say Goodbye to Loves



To Say Goodbye to Loves by April L. Gerard

Say it, I say to myself.
Just say it.

As a slow smile
crosses my face,
And wistful tears
down my cheeks I taste.

Remember hop scotch,
jump rope, and letters
with x's and o's?

feelings remembered..
How did they come and go?
Yesterdays and Tomorrows,

Gone.

The you I found and lost,
the me I saw and let go.

Say it, but I just can't say it.

holding on to the words,
the inflections, the tones.

the fairy tale of simpleness,
of swing sets, and monkey bars.

Of hand holding and fast cars.

Innocence wrapped up
in the shiny packages
of grown up senses.

Evenings without lonely.

Reaching, longing
for that not too distant past.

Saying "Red Rover" or "Tag, your it"
in letters sent, freely given
in a teasing smile...

a smile of my heaven,
that never existed yet.
all of it, all these things
have me.

My fingers ache
for the touch of piano keys,
a lone room and microphone
to sing along to my heart's
misery.

as I used to do years ago.
Just to help myself to let it go.

To say Goodbye to Loves
and hope like hell it comes back one day.