Friday, May 28, 2010

Provocative

Well, I did promise to post my series.  So here is the next one..although not sure what anyone thought of that last one, but I suppose in this case (no offense intended) that this series is more for me than anyone else.  I must warn you though, in the next coming days as I post these in what I've come to call my "Weight of Thoughts" series of poems, you will see perhaps a different side of my writings.  I hope you still enjoy them! Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Provacative by April Gerard

What provokes?
where is the yoke?


Broken, bent, or invisible strained.
Mirrored image of paper rains.


The constant feel of push and pull.


What bends to bleed,
will stain the needs.


An ache of pressing ages
looked backwards at life's ripped and torn pages.

Bittersweet of entanglement.


Echos of wants, left alone,
dropped at a doorstep that should never be knocked.

Hurts and pains and timid remains,
Pushed and shoved to make it fit.

No strength to let go. Too precious it was, but let go it must.


Release pulled away Tiny "would be" paper notes
aflame in memories; still it stays.

Something was here...there was something here...
a hole, a void, a nothingness felt now..but there was something here.


provoking, bleeding, leaving...  stealing me again.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Deafness

In the last two days, I have written a series of poems based on my thoughts, feelings, and observations that I have had over the last few weeks.  This is the start of them and I will post them every other day or so. It is sort of like a reflection log, but in poem form.  I do hope you enjoy reading these and I hope everyone is enjoying their week or at least finding one thing to smile about!

Deafness by April Gerard

I may be deaf,
but it is the world who fails to hear.

The language spoken
with our hands, our bodies..
it says so many things.

To chose to keep a space between,
helps to define the lines.

Lines that most never see.

They trample, they jump,
they reach out and touch
what is not theirs to touch.

We say so many things
by saying too much.

But it's never with words that we say them.

No it's never the words
that we can't hear...

It's the universal language,
the one spoken by
a jut of the jaw,
or clasp of the hands.

The way we speak,
without speaking.

The one language so often ignored
or misused;
but desperately in need
of our attention.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

The Eclipse

This post is By request from a friend.When I wrote this poem originally, I wasn't going too to share it.  Thank you Ajey for listening to me rant and rave and for the support in my trials and stumblings in life.  I truly appreciate the friendship I have with both you and your honey :)

The Eclipse by April Gerard

Busy days they always seem
short nights of strange travels where
dreams are left out to dry in the mind's eye.
Looking up to see a full eclipse hiding the Sun.

These dreams... the smell, the vividness, they're so real. 
That of melancholic feel, why should the sun be hidden?
Doesn't it breath life into the world? It cannot be lost....
for a Sun must still be, even if it can't be seen.

It isn't really gone though is it...
no the Sun never stopped its shine.
The Eclipse is just a temporary blockage
and can last only so long a time. 

Friday, May 21, 2010

No Expectations

Just a word, this is a bit of glimpse into my thoughts I usually don't share. Hope that everyone has a great weekend and keep working towards whatever it is you're aiming for in life. You'll get there someday.

No Expectations by April Gerard

Never heard 'em say it.
No one ever said I could,
didn't ever really look for them to.

But I'm doing it,
because I want to,
because I need to.
Because I love to.
I'm not the kind who looks for
others approval or nod,
I'm just out to show
that it can be done.
Should be done.
Reach for it, grab it!
Don't let the world steal you're
Heaven.

It's here on the Earth
waiting for you to take it,
don't stop in reverse,
there's nothing worse
than a mind who once thought
it was a possibility
a dream to be caught
in the hands on the way in the world
making plans to attain...

and then BAM...

the mind let it wash away.
Because of what the others say.

But I say, don't.
Never let the world steal your dreams.
Shout 'em out,
show 'em how..
rip it out from underneath
the idleness of empty,
and let it out.

Look at the where at I once stood.
I was a mess, growing up in homelessness,
poverty and broken relationships.
Family in the locker,
that's where most thought I'd be.


But look at me now.
See where I'm at?
I make my own road,
don't give a damn
what the world got to say.
I learned early on
to hold my own and make my own way.

No Expectations..

Just reach
beyond your clouds.

and hold on,
I'm here to walk with you
through it now.

***this poem was inspired by by a multitude of things. My own convictions, Brosreview's thoughts he shared on his blog-the Odds are Good but the Goods are Odd, Eminem's new song "Not Afraid", Triana and I's longstanding friendship and a host of other things that I don't have permission to share on here.  To a dear friend of mine- this is for you. Keep your chin up, all is never lost- even when it feels like you've hit rock bottom.***

Thursday, May 20, 2010

My Sunshine

See, I told you all I'd be back...just took me a bit to get here!  Here is a new poem of mine- hope you all enjoy and hopefully I will be able to blog a little more in the next few weeks :)  Have a wonderful day or night (whichever it may be for you)!


My Sunshine by April Gerard

There is sunshine peeking in
I feel the warm rays fill the space
of in between and unseen;
a melody of catalysm.

There is a calmness here
a sense of enveloping peace.

Steady in stride,
tears of gratitude..of greatfulness.
I am here, not there...
where I used to be.

There is sunshine peeking in,
cause and effect,
effects of cause hanging..
in in between and unseen.

Seeming chaos comes together,
a mess made whole and beautiful.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Loving Life and Learning to Live it

I'm so sorry for my lack of postings here lately. I just haven't had the time really.  The good news is that here at work, I've been able to help several people keep from losing their homes in my foreclosure counseling sessions and I have over 14 families participating in the financial classes we offer to those who have applied for Habitat Housing. This summer we intend to build 4 new homes!

What does all of this add up too?? Several things:

One- my Habitat affiliate is the only one in the Nation that I know of that offers community services such as the Foreclosure Prevention Counseling I'm doing, in addition to the traditional model of building homes for low income families who then pay back a zero percent interest mortgage.

Two- I'm one busy lady, but I like it.  the downfall to this is that I've had to prioritize my personal activities to fit the new & much longer work schedule.  Blogging, for the time being is on the back burner simmering until I reach some other goals I've set for myself. I wasn't very active physically last year and I intend to remedy that. I have set aside Monday nights for the Softball league I've joined and I've signed my kids up for various activities as well for the summer.  I've even participated in a few Karaoke nights with Triana :)

The point is balance and learning to love all aspects of my life- not just parts of it.  I'll post again when I can, until then- Hope everyone is having a wonderful week! 

Take care,
April

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Something Real




This song and a few memories are what inspired the following poem.


Something Real by April Gerard

Hot sunrise brought its heat
as the Moon danced its reset
to the jaunts of April mornings.

closed eyes..a deep breath,
the palms wiped of nervous sweat.

Battled days were to be had
as passion pressed and
midnight saw its birth.

tears fall..no reason why,
the heart beating rapidly in chest.

Clear stars gave way to
the weathered wars of hearts
with thoughts to take miles away.

Calm peace..laying with fingers intertwined,
the feel of skin owned by gentle, beautiful hands.

Chance came and went
and came yet again in its quest
to prove what doubt tries to take.

A moment..never to be forgotten,
something real. Something real....

Saturday, May 1, 2010

To fill this Heart

A small poem for this weekend, something I wrote awhile back On January 22, 2010.  Have a great weekend everyone!

To fill this Heart by April Gerard

I'm taking with me
some of Tomorrow's sunshine.
Gathering it with a piece of Peace
that belong's in Yesterday's hands,
Just to fill this heart
with more than grains of sand.