A poem I wrote not long ago, but fits my mood of persistence and continuing to find ways to improve myself and my surroundings. One day I hope that I will have made enough of a difference that the rest of the world joins in...and though that may seem an ambitious thought, at least I hope and strive for that.
To Bridge the Distance by April Gerard (written February 5, 2010)
I have so many things on my mind.
so many things that make me wonder,
can I really feel my heart beat?
I don't know that I'm listening to it,
or perhaps really
its beating so loud
that it has deafened me.
All i know is that I'm trying
to bury this quaking that persists,
Yet, I like to be alone.
Why should these things affect me so?
I want to give my friendship and love,
but I don't know anymore
where or who to place it with.
There are so many who do not understand
the caveats that come with being able
to really trust someone.
A failing of mine
is that I understand it all too well.
And it keeps me
from allowing myself
to really let people in.
Perhaps that is why I don't
feel my heart beat,
maybe I don't want to hear its pain.
Perhaps there is too much distance
between my heart that cares
and the world who does not.
But I think it does, the world I mean.
I think it does care and that it tries
to leave it behind; or tries to forget.
So many hands....so many could do
so much- if they knew that.
If they really knew that,
just as my heart does.
But how do you tell a world these things?
How do you tell a world that
even someone such as me,
who has seen the horrors Life can offer up,
even I still believe that its worth caring for?
There must be a bridge somewhere,
surely there is...somewhere,
for I cannot be the only one
searching for it.
But bridges must be built...
So, I must learn to build mine.
I must learn to bridge the distance.