Thursday, April 29, 2010

Because

I have been working alot lately and yes I've been writing in my book. It seems I have fallen in love with my story all over again and have managed to make time nearly everyday to write and revise and add to it. It is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment and steady on towards the goal. 

This weekend, however, I intend to enjoy and spend lots of time with friends and some family as it is my birthday on Sunday.  It will be the first time in a long time that I've ever even tried to celebrate my own life.  That's really what it is you know, birthdays are meant to help you appreciate yourself, be at ease with yourself, and love the you inside yourself.  I do hope everyone is having a fantastic and wonderful evening! and for now, here is another impromptu poem...lets see what I write below shall we??

Because by April Gerard

It's starts with one candle,
every year you add one.
But there's a year missing..
at least I think so.

Didn't that first year,
when you lived,
breathed, and depended
so much on the mother
who held you inside..

Isn't that really your
year of beginnings?

That's just me though,
and the way I often ponder.
But isn't that the greatest thing?
To ponder such things?

There's always something
goin on in Life.

Every year something,
something always happens.
It's not always good,
but it's not always bad either.

Makes me somehow like
the fact that I'm human.
I get to learn, I get to see
this world for the beautiful
things it holds..

We breathe, we love,
we dream!

I don't know that I'd
trade that for the power
of Gods,
or for the Stars of the Sky.

Those who know me well,
often shake their heads at me.
They wonder how I could!
How could I love this state of being?
when we are imperfect,
when we have so much to learn.

And I say, because..

It's beautiful.
It always is and always was.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

The Journey

I've been a bit under the weather the past few days. But, like always, I seem to be managing it just fine.  You know, I was just sitting here thinking about how my blog posts are not as much as they used to be. Where I once made every effort to post each and every day, now I try to only do two or three a week and I focus more on my book writing rather than my blog writing right now.  I'm very, very pleased with my progress thus far!

Here is a short and small poem for the nght. I'm going to head off for some rest and try to get over this dang cold I have. Take care everyone and enjoy the poem!

The Journey by April Gerard

Summer's heat
could not melt away
my dreams long kept,
for my dreams do not waver
with the weather.

and the Melodies
anchored in my mind
do not die as I'm always
singing them to myself,
no matter the thoughts of others.

the constant reminders;
the patience and persistance
I demand of myself
keeps me reaching beyond,
past the point that small thinking brings.

Its the balance of hope,
persistence, and believing.
I know I'm going to get there,
and the journey is worth every step I take.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Just a Note of Thoughts and Ponderings

A short post today and a slight break from the norm, but I wanted to share a small something with you guys. Some of you may remember my list of "Who I want to meet someday" posted back in 2008.  Well, I would like to say I got to meet one of them, but I didn't. However, I met Al Jennings the pastor of  Summit Church where my good friend Miss Deborah Brown graciously invites me to occasionally. Al spoke about Team Hoyt (#4 on my list) this weekend. He got to meet Rick Hoyt in Boston not too long ago..you can read about it here on his blog aljennings 

 The point here being that while I may not have had the opportunity to meet one of those on my list, I am finding that meeting people who've already met those on my list is just as good. I really enjoy seeing the inspiration that people like Team Hoyt pass on to others. They truly seem to make a difference in other peoples lives- simply by living their own. 

It makes me take a deeper look at things in life and what we as our own individuals can do to inspire others. Rick Hoyt's dad made a decision in life that I would call a U-turn, but he did it based on what he saw that it would do for his son and they have made an extrodinary impact on others by following what they felt called to do in life rather than settling for less by doing other things less fullfilling with their time.

The whole concept makes me feel even more confident in my writing goals and continually pressing towards these goals of mine. I have no doubt of where I'm going in life and I just need to keep at it :)

And one of these days, I'll meet a few on that list and a few that aren't.  Patience, confidence, and persistence. Those are the things I need to carry with me as I move forward in life and continue to do all that I can for those around me.  I do hope everyone is having a wonderful day, I'll post some more poetry later this week, if you missed my Sunday poem or any others I've posted throughout the last few weeks...just keep on scrolling down the page and you'll find them.

"To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." -Oscar wilder

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Release

A sunday poem for everyone. Hope the weekend has gone well for all of you. I've had a pretty interesting one so far, lots of ups and downs, but I'm ok with that as often times the ups and downs in life teach valueable life lessons we shouldn't do without.  But, I'm in the mood for some relaxation, some release..so please enjoy this read as I return to writing in my book for the day.

See you all later and have a wonderful night!

Release by April Gerard

Warmth of the tiny tendrils
that seek out my face,
my hands, all of skin exposed
in the brightness of the days' rays.

It fills my soul with soft peace.

My eylids closed,
soaking up the feel
of the water around me
as I float in slient reverie.

This is a favorite thing of mine,
to be in the waters.

The water helps to drown out
the remaining sounds
I still hear in the day's activities
going on around me.

The muffled sounds of birds chirping,
the faint ember of a Siren
wailing in the distance.

None of it matters to me right now.

Here, as I float on the water,
lazily stroking backwards,
feeling the completeness you feel
when in tune with natures tones-

It's here where nothing matters.

Even those hurts and memories
that are better left forgotten
seem to keep themselves away,
and I like the sense of peace it brings.

I want to stay and bask here in the water forever,
to just be content in this world
of temporary contentment- this world
that water and sun provide.

I often think it would be a marvelous thing
to to be able to turn around,
belly facing the depths of miles below the surface
and just cross my arms under my head-

 as if the lake could be my bed
 for the day or night.

But it doesn't work that way.

I can only float so well on my back
and it does take some concentrated effort to do so,
but its effort I like,
the kind that relaxes you

and

releases you. 

Sometimes, the feel of water and sun...
well sometimes,it makes you feel
as though Life is the one thing you've won.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Edge of the Fall

Not sure where this one came from tonight..it just sorta flowed out of me.  I like it though. Hope you each do as well, seems like a poem everyone could relate to at some point in their lives.

Edge of the Fall by April Gerard

Edge of some nill to nothing,
but yet something is really there.
The precipice is where we are,
waiting to fall into or out of nothing.

Course, it was never really nothing was it?
Never could we let it go, at least not in our minds.

Foolishness, maybe. But I don't think so.

All the same its where I'd rather be;
smile divined right with those bright eyes
and hands, oh those hands.

Still, here we stand once again.

Spaces of there and here.
With me here and you there...

Needs. So much we didn't know.
Couldn't find a room where a heart could sort out
its hurts and its joys.Couldn't see what track lay ahead.
Hearts need time to learn; we just jumped.

The landing wasn't so smooth,
but seems survival happens.

'Course no words have been spoken much since.

Words got locked up inside,
should've let them out a long time ago.
Guess courage of the fool's kind,
couldn't open up and give them away..at least not then.

It'll be good to see you again,
hope courage finds me and you.

Hope it finds the edge of where we'll be.

Monday, April 12, 2010

I really dislike spams..

A word to an anonymous poster:  Don't leave spam comments on mine or anyone else's blog. They're not welcome. End of conversation.

There, now that I've said my piece on that, on to the thoughts of today.  I've been struggling with a few things, but I've come to the determination that as long as I stick to my goals in life, then whatever happens will be a positive thing- just might not look like it at the time. In fact there are some things that come in a completely different package than what you'd have expected- but that I'm learning, is ok. I'm growing, learning, and becoming a wiser individual because of these unexpected events.  That's the beauty of life and though they are hard, I'm glad for these things. For how would I ever appreciate the good, if I never experience the bad?

So, to name three things going right for me right now:
  1. I'm truly making progress on my books and it feels wonderful to make that time to write again. Yeay!
  2. My kids and I are doing more things together and that feels good too.
  3. My stress level is about to be significantly less in a couple of months due to a decision I finally made and followed through on  :-)
Life is good, everything else is either a part of my learning in life or speed bumps that need to take a slower course of action, but nothing is unmanageable when you do what you can with what you got and don't worry about what you can't change.

And Live. Just Live. That's where happiness is found- on the inside of you, not the outside. Those are my thoughts for today, Hope you each are having a wonderful day or night (whichever fits you wherever your at)!

Monday, April 5, 2010

Traveling Feet and Wandering Thoughts

I have written yet another chapter in my book and I feel pretty good about it. It seems my creativity it slowly coming back to me and I don't want to waste it by not making time to pen these thoughts down. Here is a poem I just wrote that encompasses so many things. Hope you enjoy this poem.

And I hope that each of you are working towards whatever dreams and/or goals you have set yourself in mind to make happen.  Persistance is often times the hardest thing to keep up, but its a neccessary thing that disciplines you to keep moving and walking towards the things that matter most. Have a lovely night everyone!


Traveling Feet and Wandering Thoughts by April L. Gerard

I'm Walking.

to clear my head
as my feet take me in no
particular direction.

It's Lovely.

The way the rhythm of my feet
quickens with each thought
that turns itself around in my head.

ah,
the Breeze.

these thoughts always carry me,
keep me heading in the right direction.
Steadfast in my determination to be more.

Listen to the birds.

My feet take me past the trees
intermixed amongst the homes situated
in this small town as I weave the alleys and backways.

This town is pretty,
but its always the same.

I only like this place when its warm,
when its nighttime and I can feel the world
as it sleeps. Its the only time its peaceful.

Walking.

Really though, I just don't want to settle for less.
My goals are only meant to prove to myself
that I'm worth more than narrow minds and empty streets.

It's kinda like airing out my Soul.

My feet know
what my heart knows.

Walking gives you pause for consideration,
the time to churn over all your ideas
and place them in perspective of when and where and how's.

Listen.

That's the sound of me,
walking in the direction my feet take
as I move towards those dreams
I put onto paper and own.

Like no one else could ever own them.

I take myself closer to them,
with dogged determination
to Make them come alive
and be more than just a goal

One Step at a time.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

To Bridge the Distance

A poem I wrote not long ago, but fits my mood of persistence and continuing to find ways to improve myself and my surroundings. One day I hope that I will have made enough of a difference that the rest of the world joins in...and though that may seem an ambitious thought, at least I hope and strive for that.

To Bridge the Distance by April Gerard (written February 5, 2010)

I have so many things on my mind.
so many things that make me wonder,
can I really feel my heart beat?

I don't know that I'm listening to it,
or perhaps really
its beating so loud
that it has deafened me.

All i know is that I'm trying
to bury this quaking that persists,
this loneliness. 

Yet, I like to be alone.

Why should these things affect me so?
I want to give my friendship and love,
but I don't know anymore
where or who to place it with. 

There are so many who do not understand
the caveats that come with being able
to really trust someone.

A failing of mine
is that I understand it all too well.

And it keeps me
from allowing myself
to really let people in.

Perhaps that is why I don't
feel my heart beat,
maybe I don't want to hear its pain.

Perhaps there is too much distance
between my heart that cares
and the world who does not.

But I think it does, the world I mean.
I think it does care and that it tries
to leave it behind; or tries to forget.

So many hands....so many could do
so much- if they knew that.
If they really knew that,
just as my heart does.

But how do you tell a world these things?

How do you tell a world that
even someone such as me,
who has seen the horrors Life can offer up,
even I still believe that its worth caring for?

There must be a bridge somewhere,
surely there is...somewhere,
for I cannot be the only one
searching for it.

But bridges must be built...

So, I must learn to build mine.
I must learn to bridge the distance.

Friday, April 2, 2010

It's Done



It's Done by April Gerard    (video above is Coldplay's Lost, live in Tokyo)

Its done.
Finally.


I can
breathe,


I can
write,


I can
just Be.


It's done.
Forward, the march
goes on.


I can


I will


I am.


It's done.
Finally.