Monday, January 18, 2010


I read a new blog today that caught my attention and this poem is what came to mind after I digested the writers words a bit. It's different for my writings; don't know whether or not I like this one, but I'm sure you guys will let me know what you think.

Either way, the poem is how the writer of the new blog feels- at least I think this is how they are feeling. Their posts had such a deep melancholy to it- like they were wading in water too deep for them to swim in, yet they were managing to keep afloat. Almost like they hadn't quite given up on Hope just yet.

I hope that they keep holding on to that little bit of hope.


I'm feeling a bit undone,
unraveled- letting out and letting in
at the same time.
I want to wrap me back up,
and yet I like the freer movements,
without my own constrictions;
or those imposed by others.

Choices, there are always choices.

Some pulled out of desire, some out of comfort,
and some because the choice is so dear to the heart-
it hurts to think of not chosing it.
And each one I examine carefully;
they lay there in front of me,
tearing me apart.

Birds without wings,
eyes without sight,
a mind without fear

can become a comfort of sorts
in plight.

Decisions, there are always decisions.

Some born of frustrations, some of anothers hand,
and some of freedom born within the instance
it was understood that freedom could be had.
And each one weighs and pulls in opposite
directions. Each tossed or held
as fragments of my humanity fell apart.

Let me lay, just let me lay still
in the darkness of my night.
Let me not think on what, how,
or why.
But let me love without saying
what's wrong or what's right.


Rick said...

April-hmm, interesting excercise. See, here's the deal. Because you're just interpreting someone elses emotions the passion lies flat. You start out "feelin a bit undone"
Now i'm probably the one off my nut, but I want it to read, "Im fucken bloody undone!"
Talent wise, I got nothin, April. But I have to feel. even if it is a bloody mess. That's why poetry can't be nine to five.
Your writing is wonderful, but I have expected you to put a thermometer in the patients mouth and check his wrist. Slap him and shake him into alive!! Just sayin, Dear friend. ~rick (that'll learn ya to ask)

Brosreview said...

I like the words here, I like the structure here. I understand the person here. I can understand the emotions too. But, sadly, the feel is absent. I mean, sure, the words add depth and forces me to feel it, still, in a few areas, this is quite bland. Inconsistency in feeling disconnects me from this piece.

Good luck!

Shadow said...

the backward and forward pull, i understand that completely, you've depicted it very well indeed...

Syd said...

I like that there is no rightness or wrongness. Very nice poem.

Mirror Image said...

It is what it is chica.... I like it. I find that the personal connection to what we write always makes it kick a*s though. Although, as a reflection piece I like this. You haven't been around my parts in ages. Hope all is well.

findingmywingsinlife said...

don't ever feel like your comments aren't appreciated, because they are. I too feel like this one is a bit more distant from passionate emotions- that's part of why I wasn't sure if I liked it or not. Still, the person who it was about seemed to me like they were trying to put distance between themselves and their own feelings- hence the seeming lack of emotions in the post ;) I love your honesty though, so stop feeling bad about this comment!!!

I also enjoyed this comment and you're right about the disconnectedness in emotions- that was partially the point. I agree that I could polish this up a bit, but in the end I think it did what I was aiming for.

Indecisions about anything and everything often leave us in that back & forth pull, draining us of even realizing we ever had emotions to begin with. And that, for some, can become a permenant scar. I'm glad you understood this :)

I too like that there is no rightness or wrongness.

Yeah it is, I wanted to give it some more thought but then couldn't think of a better way to write it so this is what I ended up with. I think that a personal connection can indeed make it kick ass, however, sometimes seeing from the outside in gives a better perspective and a more truthful view of what your eyes are seeing. Glad you liked it!