Monday, January 4, 2010

To Memory

I'm sorry guys, this was the longest stretch of being away from posting on my blog and that was not my intentions. Writing is good for me and I hope good for you each as well. I've been thinking of how each of us have certain memories we keep for ourselves, some we tell ourselves out loud to keep, others we mentally tuck them away for safe keeping, and still others we can't seem to erase no matter how hard we try to forget. It was this train of thought that led me to write this, I hope I've caught the emotional idea that memories seem to bring forth in each of us.

To Memory

I cried tears for you.
Still do,
every now and then when
your face appears before me
in an unbidden daydream.
Didn't see this coming,
yes..that's what I heard and
No, no I didn't either.
I try so hard to swallow
the dryness in my throat,
the words that always seemed to die
there.
I try to stuff you somewhere else,
in the corner recesses of my mind.
Hoping.
Praying.
That this feeling you conjure up will ease
with the passage of time,
and yet..stay all at the same time.
No.
I don't want you to go.
Don't fade away, it was a shooting star
I'm sure- a glimmer of beauty only meant to be
seen in that twilight of time
where honesty forgot responsibility or morality
and told its secrets in an instant,
without question.
But I..
yeah I wish it didn't hurt so much,
you coming to visit my head
when I don't ask.
The sight of you hurts,
replaying in my mind.
ah, yes. That is true, I can't deny it-
You are a beautiful memory,
the only one I have to keep.
The only one that
gave me hope and killed me
in the same moment.
Beautiful things do that,
and memories are just the memoirs
of instances
permanently etched.
Of moments too precious to lose, or lessons
to valueable to forget.
Of time and space and aging forgotten
in the ageless sense
our emotions give.
Placed there,
in you
a memory.

6 comments:

Becky said...

My Goodness, these words and imagary really reach out and penetrate. An intensly moving peice of work. I will return to this post I'm sure.

Brosreview said...

Let me ensure to you that this post, this poem, has undoubtedly "caught the emotional idea that memories seem to bring forth in each of us".

Also, I am suddenly recalling the first poem I'd read here many months back, and my favourite one (you know which one, right?). There is so much improvement in you expressing yourself via poems. Keep it up!!!

"honesty forgot responsibility or morality" - bravo!

"memories are just the memoirs
of instances" - brilliant!

This is very well done! I can feel you and your emotions, your sentiments in this one. It is crystal clear here. The difficulty in summoning something that WAS beautiful to a mere memory is very sad. But, you know what, you are keeping in memory the good times, and that is better than keeping the bad ones in mind that shall prick you forever. You are moving on!

Well done! Keep writing!!!

Shadow said...

i've certainly missed you. but then again, lots have missed posting... as for your poem, i just love how memories soften and enhance, turn what we think as ordinary at the time, into something special, which it in fact is...

Triana said...

What is it that so often puts you and I into the same roller coaster? And almost always reaching the same point at the same time, yet never choosing the same ride. You know how well I relate to this poem at this exact time. We both know the details. Enough said.

Until tomorrow...
I'm working on a few requests for Jason Paul. Be thinking on it as well ;-)

Syd said...

Sad stuff in this poem. Memories are great to sustain us though.

findingmywingsinlife said...

Becky,
Thank you for those words, sometimes it just comes out that way. I had debated on whether or not to go ahead and post it after I was done writing it, but seeing everyone's comments makes me glad I did.

Brosreview,
As always you usually get to the heart of things with my work pretty quickly. I'm sure you've been noticing lately the layers within each of the new pieces I've been posting.

Shadow,
Yes, sometimes memories soften and enhance- but equally and just as often they become literally, the only thing you ever had to hold onto and it is this quality that sometimes makes me wish for more than just a memory.

Triana,
yep and nope. Next time I see you, I'll explain why I agree and disagree with that statement all at the same time. 'Course by then you will probably have figured it out :)

Syd,
Yes, there are some sad things in this one. Sometimes acknowledging that much about something makes it easier- easier to understand, to let go, or to hold in a different light, whichever you need the most.