I wrote this in my blog back on August 3, but never posted it. (Yes, I do use my blog quite like a journal, you'd be amazed probably to know that I have nearly 400 posts on this thing and only a fraction of them get posted each day). I've been reviewing some of them and I thought I'd share this one today since it relates to some of the things that have been on my mind lately. Specifically, the idea that no matter what- each day should be meaningful to you.
I've been on the road for the last two hours or so, in Indy again for a few days for work. There is always so much to do, so much to learn. These small trips away are sometimes my little piece of heaven-they give me time to be alone enough to think and I usually get some much needed rest that I otherwise wouldn't get at home. The rest is an important part of keeping myself healthy, but it doesn't always happen that way.
I know that I talk about my concerns for my mother's health or I write about alot of other things, but I don't know that I've shared with you each why I'm always so tired (apart from being busy all the time).
About 4 and half years ago, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. I'm a fortunate diagnosee-as mine seems to be an extremely slow progressing type. I'm fairly active and mobile. Most wouldn't know I have it unless I specifically told you. In fact, my neurologist theorizes that I've had it since childhood. The supporting factor in that theory is that I'm deaf in my right ear due to nerve deafness (the nerves don't work) and MS is an autoimmune disease that affects the nervous system. I've been deaf since as far back as I can remember.
Back when I was nineteen I had an MRI done to determine if they could do anything surgical to help regain my hearing and they found a lot of lesions in the occitipal region of my brain. Problem is, I can still see which is baffling considering how many lesions I have in that region which controls your visual senses, and yet my auditory region has none- and I'm partially deaf (try to untangle that one). I had absoluting no identifying symptoms when they found those, so there were no further tests done at that point. I went on living my life, like I always do.
So (fast forward to 2005) when I was finally diagnosed- it was due to the fact that I began to have insomnia problems. after determining that I did have an insomnia problem, it took them nearly six months of testing to get a diagnosis. The final test being the spinal tap ( I hope to never, ever have to have one of those done ever again as mine didn't heal properly, a complication that doesn't happen to many people). I was given the news of my diagnosis two days after christmas. I have since managed myself and my fatigue much better and no longer have as much sleeping problems as I did. I am fortunate to be able to say that fatigue is my biggest battle with it and not other more serious symptoms.
For most people, depending on what type of MS they have, that determines how their symptoms generally act. In my case, if the MS is acting up and causes damage, its permenant for me, which is why I never regained my hearing back. Its also why, in some ways, I've learned to be very grateful for the mobility,agility, and functionalities I still have and am determined to keep.
And so, the point of my sharing this with you each is not to spill my beans, but to offer a few words of advice ( I hope you each don't mind) and those are: never take your gift of Life forgranted and make each day mean something to you- do some good things with the time you have and do your best to help others, including those strangers who you pass by. You'll help yourself more than you could possibly fathom if you learn to help others first. And you'll grow into a more lovely,beautiful individual than what you already are. I believe in each of you, now go believe in yourselves and make a difference.