Monday, July 6, 2009

Varying degrees of Memories and Courage

I've been researching a book that a close and dear friend of mine is studying and hinted that I might want to take a look at. Its an old book, one not found just anywhere.

Anyway, it really hit home on some things. It reminded me of some people I once knew, some history I'd studied up on a few years back, and some long buried things that I have shuffled into the back of my memory shelf. I've been dusting off a few and re-examining them.

Its funny how the memories that aren't as old as, say the ones from childhood, are the ones that you have the hardest time looking at and they are the ones that seem the furthest away. I will tell you this research has re-awakened a knowledge I thought I'd left behind somewhere in the pages of my life.

I'm hesitantly researching this and yet I'm completely fascinated with it, as the subject still to this day fascinates me. But its also a subject that hits a somewhat sore spot in my memories. I suppose the point here isn't so much about the book itself, but that I've been reminded of some things. More to the point- I'm being reminded of things I like to learn about.

I also think that in addition to my writing, this researching will help keep my mind focused in the midst of all these challenging events that are also happening in my life. I still have some projects I want to finish, but its becoming clear to me that I need to find my focus again, to re-center again if you will. I will let you all know how I progress with that.

I did find it interesting that last night, as I went to sleep I had "the Scientist" by Coldplay playing in my head..I dreamed of that song mixed with varying images and scenery.. and then I woke up this morning with it playing over and over in my head, well actually it was just the one phrase "nobody said it was easy,no one ever said it would be so hard. I'm going back to the start" that played over and over. I almost think my own subconscious is trying to give me courage, courage to keep on moving.

Well, I'm going to write some more in one of my books and then maybe do some more research. have a lovely night my friends. See you each tomorrow.


Shadow said...

yeah, some memories WANT to stay hidden... what to do, what to do...

Syd said...

There are good memories that I like. Even the bad ones don't make me sad much anymore. I am learning though that the present holds the key. As they will be my future memories.