Thursday, July 30, 2009

Courage Come Find Me: A Short Story

I'm in the mood to write another short story. This is a purely fictional work that I've conjured up today. Hope you all enjoy.

Courage Come Find Me

a short story by April L. Gerard aka Findingmywingsinlife
all rights retained by author.

The girl crossed her arms and leaned back against the crumbling brick building. The windows had long been smashed out of it, a few scars of smoke stains entrailing parts of the building. It wasn't the most safest of places to be, but then, she thought, neither is some of the most ordinary places.

She let out a sigh. There in plain view was the road she never walked. She was so timid and unsure at the thought. She'd just never been outside of the block. Could she? Would she dare to venture outside of all she knew?

Across the road were more buildings, less dilapidated than the one she was using as her anchor. Even broken things can be useful she thought. Sometimes broken things become beautiful things, so why couldn't she shake the feeling that she was not one of those things?

When, when would her heart feel different? She glanced back down the alleyway where she had come from. These streets had been her home for so long. She knew that during this time of day not much would be happening here. And it was here that she found solace in the midst of her world. A world who for the most part didn't even know she existed.

She didn't know much about what was out there in that big world beyond her block, she didn't have the means to do so. But she felt that there was more, so much more than her block had given her. She then had a fleeting thought that stuck and wouldn't let go- I don't know what I don't know. Maybe I should go out there...maybe I could.

She was hungry for those things she didn't know, but how to get them? Would anyone talk with her to tell her how to get them? She glanced at the busy street ahead preparing her timid feet for the walk she'd never taken. She heard the calls of people flagging taxis, the buzz of traffic, and the shouts of those over taken with road rage from where she stood. It made her stop. No, those people would not talk to her.

A few passerbys who were trying to walk hurriedly through the block on the sidewalk that lined her unknown street, glanced down her way. Their faces had on peculiar looks to her. It was always the same sort of glances a girl like her would get. But it didn't make no sense to her, why would people look at her with such disgust, such indignity? A few she saw traces of shame, but she couldn't tell if that was for her or for themselves. Didn't really matter to her, but it did feed her curiosity. Do those others out there, do they really think that trying to survive is a shameful act? If so, why didn't they help? All that stuff they know, all those things they must have. Didn't it help any of them? She suspected not, but she still wanted one thing- she wanted to know the things they knew. She wanted to know what it was they knew about her that she didn't know. It seemed that no matter how many times she tried, she just couldn't see what would make their face contort so when they looked her way.

And so this run down place, with odd smells as foul as the sewers below had became over the last few days, her place of solitude. She had somehow stumbled onto the thought of leaving the block (though she couldn't remember just what had triggered the thinking) and that thought brought her to this place. It was the only place where she could stand by herself and feel like maybe, just maybe one day someone would listen.

She took a few step back, knowing she'd have to come back tomorrow. Knowing she shouldn't be seen. But she yearned for that courage. She wanted those things she didn't know. But she didn't have it just yet. She hoped she would tomorrow. Until then, she'd listen to the noises that came from that busy street, the one she never walked on. The one that might lead away from her small block.

The one that might set her free.


Rikkij said...

April- Lovely story. It's amazing how territorial we are in body and spirit-and how afraid. The whole concept of blocks seem silly. ~rick

Shadow said...

and enjoy it i did. we see people like this daily, we all do. and you've put me nicely inside their heads. good writing!

Deedee said...

I think there may be a lot of good stories inside you. You seem to have a way of seeing the world through many different sets of eyes. Keep writing, girl! -P.S. David Gray has some new music out. I can't believe its been ten years since White Ladder! I love him too.

findingmywingsinlife said...

Thanks! and yes I agree that the idea of blocks seems silly- but it is a true reality for alot of people.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and its good to know that I was able to convey the feel of what people like my girl in this story think and feel about the world around them.

Thank you for that! And ten years?? really? I guess I hadn't realized it had been that long since David Gray had released an album.