Triana texted me today as I was driving down here to the south end of the state for work (its a travel week for me for job #2 with Habitat). Anyway, she asked just one question, "You doing ok today?"
I guess that's better than the statement she made after realizing I didn't call her first thing over the weekend. She said, "You're shutting down again." and she was right.
over the last year and a half I have been blogging. Like Natalie from Musings from the Deep, its a therapy outlet. Everything I have ever written on here was my real thoughts and life happenings with the exception of my fiction novel work entitled "Kipleyarren". Even my poems deal with my dreams, events, ideas, and thoughts. Because of the way I use my blog, I assumed (perhaps wrongly so) that most other bloggers used it for the same reasons. I am a bit naive in taking people's words on faith. Triana says I don't question people enough and I say people don't put enough faith and love in others.
I mean that statement quite literally. I know that they say you have to love yourself in order to love others, but I've thought about that all my life. My experiences, the people I've known who have caused hurts in my childhood like no other- well they were damaged far beyond the damage they caused me. I think if someone had shown them HOW to love, how to have faith in themselves then maybe they wouldn't have done the things they did to me or my family. Maybe they'd have found a reason to love others enough so that they didn't loathe themselves.
But then maybe I'm a Dreamer. I guess that's why I care so much for others- I want to show them life doesn't have to be a mess, it doesn't have to be a violent opportunity waiting to happen. It only takes our very own two hands to change the world- because we are what makes up the world. In other words we are the world, so why don't we change ourselves?