I did not drink last night, although I wanted too very, very much so.
There was a lot more transpiring between the communications between the man we know as Clay and myself. It was not the fact he took his blog down that shook me up so badly, it was other things he made a point of letting me know.
I can't honestly tell you what to think of him, because I don't know what to think anymore. But my self confidence is eroded further. I thought I had found a friend worth letting in. And good friends are a rare commodity indeed. Many of you would tell me to let it go, that its not worth my time. I thank you each for your support and friendship, but I can't guarantee that I can let go this time.
Perhaps this is all really my fault in a way, me wanting to believe in something again simply left the door open so to speak. The problem is is that I still have faith in people, in him. Even if maybe I shouldn't.
Soo, I will continue blogging because I am a person of my word, even if others might not be. Please forgive me if I tend to be a bit more sullen, a bit more teary eyed in my writings..this will take time for me to pick up and go again.