Sunday, May 31, 2009

A.M.

A dream I thought I had, I dream I thought I knew.
A beautiful voice I heard, A man worth knowing too.
Didn't matter what I would see, didn't matter the looks to me,
But a friend I lost today, because I let myself get in the way.

Flowers grow, words will bloom, a steady soul there is in you.
But whats inside you do not see, there was more than you thought there to be.
I cannot help you know yourself, but the truth somewhere was what I felt.
I cannot help how niave I must've looked, but a fool I would've been not to cross this brook.

Now, I've lost a friend- a loss I know I'll regret. But never would I wish not to have met
.

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I did go for a long walk with my 4 year old son today. There is a trail that goes from one end of town to the other, and so we walked most of it today. Not all is lost with me. I just wish that my inability to comprehend what was being told to me, didn't also mean the loss of a good friend. Sometimes, there are things I just don't understand, but oh how I wish I did.

Its time to get back to working on my novel. I'll see you all tomorrow evening probably. Tears might not go away easily and neither does a friendship, but I realize I just can't make others choices for them, I can only make my own.

I'm choosing to dance, even with the tears, because my soul needs it.

5 comments:

Brosreview said...

Oh, I can relate to this at very and up and close level. The feeling doesn't die easily. I guess that is a side-effect of an honest relationship.

Thanks for dropping by my spot. Now, I see what you meant.

Rikkij said...

April-friends are friends forever, no matter what. If the friend has left you, the friend really never was. And you were part of the way-not in the way. Don't take the blame for another's decision. be well,take care~rick

Shadow said...

the loss of a friendship is hard. but what was meant to be, will be. dance with your tears, that's the way to go...

Syd said...

Sometimes I have place too many expectations on friendship. I get let down. It's better for me to lower my expectations and keep the focus on me.

findingmywingsinlife said...

Brosreview,
No the feeling doesn't die easily.

Rick,
A good soul you are to remind me of that.

Shadow,
Thank you. You can't get through life without learning to dance- even when the tears are pouring down.

Syd,
Its ironic that you say that, I thought that I truly did not have any expectations in this friendship, but I found that I was wrong- I may have had too many. That's a hard pill to swallow sometimes.