Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A work in Progress

There are so many things on my mind, where to start with this post....hmm

Well, for starters as you all know, I'm back from vacation. It was one of the most beautiful and liberating things I've done for myself in years. And I do mean years.

I played a piano and wrote many thoughts down.
I visited with my step brothers of whom I care alot about. I have those pictures on my phone, so it might take me awhile to get them off of there to share with you all.
I looked on the ocean (well the gulf of Mexico) staring at its beauty in the night, seeing the moon glisten on its waters, hearing the waves rolling in, and seeing the stars clear as ever in the night sky. I would have sat there for hours on end if it hadn't of been so damn cold.
I had a very long conversation with my friends about life and decisions to be made.
I was informed that while I was sleeping during the day, Aries (their dog) managed to nudge the door to my room open, and stared at me trying to decide whether or not to rouse me. I think we got along so well because we sort of "knew" each other- like me, Aries had a rough start in life.
I was told by Pam that I looked "Damn Good" for having had 3 kids
I sat outside, drinking a beer with pam and enjoying a small bonfire in her backyard. Yes, I drank a little with I'm not a big fan of beer, but it wasn't bad. I'd go for vodka anyday over beer though. That is if I'm up for drinking, which I'm usually not. It was relaxing to just loosen up a bit for a change.
I raced some guy driving a green mustang with Alabama plates on I65 nearly all the way up through Tennessee, through Louisville, and almost nearing Indy before I had to pull off to fill up the tank. We were doing 85-90 the whole way.... I'm positive he could have easily taken my rental car seeing as how it was only a pontiac g5, but oh, it was so fun!
I put nearly 3,ooo some miles on that rental car, and I enjoyed every minute behind the wheel. The change of scenery, the beauty of watching nature wake up in this spring time, and the freedom of putting so many miles between me and the stressers associated with my daily life right now.
I slept more peacefully than I have in over 3-4 years while I was away. That's how good it felt to be gone.

Now, since being back, I've had dinner with Triana and an old high school friend named Aryan, she is a wonderful person! I had lunch with my dear friend Belinda today as well. All of the conversations I've had with them, explaining my decisions and they all nearly jumped up and down with excitement, giving me their full support. It is a wonderful feeling to know I have such nice friends.

It made me realize how much of my life they saw (no matter how much I thought I had hidden)and how much they had held their tongue on more than one occasion. Belinda even said today, "Now I know you April, just because it took you 2-3 years to make this decision does not mean you should take that long to do it." I have to admit- she has a point.


Shadow said...

change can only happen when you are good and ready for it. good fortune on your travels....

Linda S. Socha said...

What a great post! Knowing what you want to do and making the decision to do it is definitely the first 50%.Go for what you need and want and have decided your time frame of course....but the one good for you. Good Luck