Saturday, March 14, 2009

Deeper thoughts

I have been trying to reconnect and revisit the me I've shut off for so long. The me that is carefully wrapped in bubble packaging. The traveling and writing of the past things have re-awakened many things in me. Some things like my creativity I am wholeheartedly loving to have back. Other things however, are things I once swore I'd never have much to do with again. I am beginning to think that you can't refuse that which you were born to do, no matter how hard you try.

Blogging and bloggers are much more open minded and have reminded me that to turn away from who you are is not the healthiest decision to make. But I still don't see the wisdom in using these things. They seem to attract the most voracious of people.

It isn't that I think these parts of me are bad, it is just as I tried to explain before-that they are things I wasn't sure I wanted and still not sure I want, but apparently I don't have the choice of gifts I'm given. Dreams, visions, and other strange things are just a part of who I am...


Just like the Raven's visit the other day, Its been a long time since I've seen one look at me. But I feel that has to do with my recent decisions, as if the otherworldly things could hear my thoughts and were waiting for me to embrace myself once again...strange as that might sound to others, it makes perfect sense to me.

I believe this is going to be a difficult journey, but perhaps I will be whole again.

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In other news, I did spend the morning with my kids and enjoyed watching them play happily in the indoor play area we went to. With my busy working schedule, it was nice to spend some of my time with them.

I also went to a local bands concert called "Rock N the Fort" in Fort Wayne with Triana in the late afternoon (it was an all ages event, hence the earlier starting time). See her blog Life, Unassuming & Complicated for the details on that one. It was nice to see and talk to a lot of the bands we know personally. We met a band called Clear Grey from Detroit who also performed and I bought their CD, I really liked some of their songs.

For those who are interested, another post of mine is on Clay's M.IV. Please read his work as well, it is wonderfully written and put together.

5 comments:

CLAY said...

It's good that you spent time with the children.

Triana said...

I'm not posting the complete Rock the Fort post until I get to a regular pc tonight. There are some links that I want to include in it. Oh! I could use your laptop!...

Shadow said...

are you in my head???? i think so... i too went through a time where the dreams and vibes shouted and pointed and goaded me into directions and decisions. and that scared me so (even when they proved to be accurate and correct) that i shut them out completely and over time, the 'voices' became real quiet. over the past months i've been tuning in to them again, and somehow they are not so scary this time round. i'm listening, feeling my way, and although i'm not jumping headlong into anything, they are again playing a role in my life. and it feels right this time. so far... time will tell.

Nick James said...

I read all of yoru post. Enjoy your re-discovered creativity--I know I am.

findingmywingsinlife said...

Clay,
Yes it was. They are probably the most beautiful things in my life.

Triana,
My laptop! What about your own??? hmmmm... eh, all is well, thanks for watching the kids for me so I could work today.

Shadow,
No, I don't think I'm in your head. I think everyone should be free to think without censorship.

Nick,
Thank you!