Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A chronicle of my own: Part 1

My bubble is cracking... and at the encouragement of my best friend Triana and the many blogger friends on here who have couragously shared their life experiences, I figure if Clay can share his detest for "the Lady Darrow" and Crystal can share her "Crazy Chronicles", I can be brave as well, therefore it all has inspired me to do something that will be very difficult to share...



My life story.



There are many reasons why I love the work I do and why I am such a dreamer in some ways. But after carefully thinking this through, I believe its time to let others know why I am the way I am. Its time to explain how "the bubble" came about...





This story starts when my mother was a freshman in high school. A lonely, shy type of girl she mixed herself in with a bit of the wrong crowd (you'll find she does this alot throughout her life). It was during this time she met my dad: A drug addict with dreams and a shattered self esteem, most of which was his own undoing.


My mother had been taught that you could only get pregnant from kissing (you would think my grandma would have learned that that little white lie wasn't working since my oldest aunt became a mom at age 14) and so became the start of my rocky existence.


When my Grandma found out mom was pregnant, she made her take quinine pills-to abort me. If Grandma had known then what I know now about quinine- she would have found something stronger to do the job. But she didn't, she chose to believe the wave of popular belief common in those days and because of that I exist.


My dad and mother never married. Instead, Grandma and Grandpa condoned a marriage to another man nearly twice my mothers age a few months before I was born. I don't know all the details on how all this transpired, but my maiden name became Shatzer instead of Elswick, as is my dad's last name..


Mom, dropped out of school and the man she married was a violent man. They say you're not supposed to remember things before your 5th birthday, but I tell you one of my earliest memories must've been when I was 3 or 4, perhaps younger. I remember being thrown up stairs for not eating my plate, I remember being beaten with a belt because my younger brother and I put toys down the heat register to listen to them slide all the way down. I remember so many things. Things that put life into perspective for me and help me to appreciate all kinds of people. I understand the core of human needs- both emotional and physical.





Mom eventually found a spine somewhere and left him, but only when he wasn't looking. At that point there was Myself, my brother, and another one on the way. From then on Mom was never good at picking out relationships to be in and it started the downward spiral of our childhood journeys....

5 comments:

CLAY said...

What a rocky history Wing Seeker. "My mother had been taught that you could only get pregnant from kissing" What a riot...

And your memories--you must remember ever aspect of your early life. Keep traveling with this life story Wing Seeker!

-CLAY

findingmywingsinlife said...

I'm glad you seem to want to know more, I'll do my best to remember the details with each part I post. I give you fair warning though, details are not always pleasantry- they sometimes paint pictures you'd rather not see...

Rab said...

findingmywings - Writing truth can be a courageous act. I hope this journey will lead you to new insights. Certainly your readers will benefit from your experience. I will be reading with interest.

Lynette said...

The only way to understand where you are going is to look back and know where you have been. But once you've looked back and understood, you have to let the pain of that past go before you can move on. Understand the pain and its origins, but then let it go so that you can become who you are intended to be.

justin manas prince jaspher ligin said...

painful life journey,i appreciate your courageousness and the capability to tolerate the problems..