..literally. So before I get too much further into this story, I promise, I am in the process of making more comics to post. Until then, well here's too hoping you might be amused:
I had to break down and go visit the doctor last week. They did the routine stuff, asked me questions, and determined I needed further testing- ultrasound on my gallbladder, etc. and lab work. It came down to this: I have kidney stones. Having the stones isn't so much a problem as passing them is. You see the nurse explained to me very matter of factly that I would need to STRAIN my pee. Yes, I said strain my pee. Whoever thought up this process, apparently wasn't familiar with the sqat and pee stance that women are forced to assume in order to try to catch the foul liquid.
Sooooo, my first attempt was a complete utter failure and resulted in a mess everywhere! Ugh!!! Now, imagine to my horror, the realization that dawns on my unsuspecting mind as I realize I have to do this for everytime I pee, everywhere I am. Oh no... my coworkers. This is definitely not funny at this point. To make matters worse on day 2 of this oh so wonderful journey, I forgot to bring the strainer with me to work. Time to call hubby dearest to bring it in. Now, mind you I'm at work trying to talk him into bringing my pee strainer in for me while my newest coworker listens to every word I say. My husband doesn't budge. He refuses me as I plead with him about how I can't go pee without it. I give in to the arguement not wanting to elaborate more details in the office where my co-worker is trying very hard not to laugh at me, who has by now, held the damn pee in all day long.
On top of all this, I get another phone call from the doctor's office. My lab work is fine. I answered back with the "whoever thought of this pee straining thing..." line. The nurse was clearly confused so I explained about how they called the day before to tell me about the kidney stones and how I had to strain my pee. Her response, "Why don't you just pee in a cup and then strain it?"
Oh, right. That would make sense- except I didn't think of it myself. My co worker, Michelle, has been laughing at my wonderful, not so nice predicament and said to me, "You have to blog that one, its even funnier than my car catching fire the other day."
The Red Tape blog from Boobs, Injuries, and Dr. Pepper is nothing compared to the embarrassment of coworkers knowing that you have to intentionally piss on yourself per the doctors orders. By the way, guys... passing a kidney stone in no way shape or form comes anywhere close to the pain of labor.