Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Needle in my Eye

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine & I were hanging out at J.K. O Donnell's in Fort Wayne,grabbing a bite to eat, talking about a lot of things. The conversation turned to the events of my week and I kid you not, she laughed so hard I thought her beer was gonna squirt out her nose or something! So for purely entertainment purposes, the following is a recant of the conversation I had with her... I promise it is funny, even I have to laugh, guess it makes you realize that you don't have to watch a comedy to get a good laugh, because laughter is part of what makes the world go 'round.

So a few weeks ago, I had a sty in my eye. I've had a few before, but they were on the outside tip of my eyelids. Not this one, no this one has to take up residence on the inside of my bottom eye lid! Talk about irritating as hell! After about four days of this thing not giving up, making my eye swollen, and refusing to go away (despite everything I can think of like eye drops, compresses, etc) I get the bright idea of popping the damn thing myself. I go boldly into the bathroom with my sewing needle kit in hand. Yes, I said sewing needle.Even my husband said I was crazy(like he hasn't said that before). I proceeded to poke the sty with the needle in order to drain it. Now, for most people this would scare the hell out of them. I, however, have no qualms about such things (as long as I'm the one doing it). It was painful, but nothing I couldn't handle. What was something I couldn't handle, was the fact that after all my painful poking and prodding- it still didn't go away! Which leads into my next story.... The doctors office.

I walk into the doctors office the next day to have them take a look and see if they could do something for this pesky thing. After a couple of seconds into the conversation, the nurse (you should have seen the look on her face) said,"YOU DID WHAT????" as if to say how stupid can you get. "Did you sterilize the needle?" "Nope" I said, "That was the furthest thing from my mind, I was more concerned about getting rid of it. As in make it go away now get rid of it."

The look I got. By now she's trying really hard not to laugh at how insane I must be, but she manages to keep herself in check and says the doctor will be in shortly.

Keep in mind the doctor I have to see is the same doctor who is my mother's family doctor. The same one who diagnosed her with early onset dementia. Great, not only does he think my mother is nuts... I've just given him the opportunity to consider if I'm not nuts as well. In walks the doctor. His words??? "I can't believe you stuck a needle in your eye! I have a hard time doing that myself to other patients when needed."

I'm of course thinking," does anyone besides me see the distinction here? I didn't stick a needle in my eye, just my eyelid. There is a difference there you know, I'm not completely off my rocker." He then goes on to say how I was actually right. He would have had to do the same thing for me and of course I get admonished for not sterilizing it, he prescribes me some drops, and sends me on my way. As I walk out the door to check out, I pass the nurse who tries quickly to cover up her perplexed mirth. "its ok" I said," i'd laugh too, it is pretty crazy".

So back to my dinner at O'Donnells. My friend is dying with laughter at this point of the story. The conversation then turns to my mother's dementia and how I suspect that she's not taking her meds all the time. Why not?? Well the logical answer would be because she's not remembering them and unfortunately that's not neccessarily the case. What is the case is that I think she's become somewhat childlike and thinks she can do a lot of things without consequences. That and the fact that my brother who lives with her drinks alot.... I suspect she won't take her meds if she gets the impulse to have a drink.

Now mind you, my friend does not always have common sense, and in a blonde moment of not putting two & two together, she says" Oh my God. Your mother? Drinking? I have to go out to her house and have a drink with her!" The glee from her face was quickly replaced with an innocent, confused look and she said," What? Why are you looking at me like I'm insane?"

My comment??? "Did you stop to think that maybe alcohol and Dementia shouldn't be mixed together? I mean come on! She's crazy enough now, Imagine her not only leaving her meds behind but also downing a couple of beers only to ask, "What's this again? Oh, let me try one. Whoaaaa. What is this stuff? Who are you again?"

Yep... I know. Its crazy.But, apparently so is everything else. Ahhh. Such is life....I should work on a comic for that one.

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