Monday, February 11, 2008

Choices

We all have choices don't we? Sometimes I wish that I could take a few back or make some differences. But, as we all have discovered, time is something we don't get back. Besides changing a few things then, could mean giving up your most precious moments that you have now. Ah, well, such is life.

I'm currently embarking on some pretty deep thoughts, at least for me anyway. Things like where is my career going to take me and what are my life goals? I've recently discovered that my career, of which I love ( I work for Habitat for Humanity) may be leading me in a different direction than the one that I previously planned and had laid out before me so many years ago. This is probably a good change for me, because it allows me to utilize my talents much better.

My life? I went from the child who was set on being in the music industry ( I wanted to own my own record company) to the adult whose trying to patch and repair dreams gone astray. In the midst of living and learning, I've had kids, gotten married (because of course all fairytales require you to get married), and slowly, almost at a snails pace, earned my business degree. I like being busy, having lots to do, and I like doing challenging things. Among my self proclaimed challenges: I'm trying to write a book, a fiction novel. Why? because a few years ago I felt I was losing touch with my creative side ( I like to paint, write, sing, etc.) which was affecting all parts of my life. So I've set aside 10 minutes here, 15 minutes there to work on this project. The result? Well, so far so good. I'm far from done and I'm really slow at putting it together (two years into it and only about 9 chapters), but I've managed to convince a lot of people to take a look and see what they think. Most are disappointed that I'm not done yet, they want to know the rest of the story. And suprisingly to me, most of my readers are not traditional book readers. Lets hope this is a good sign, because I'd really like to see what happens with it.

I've discovered some things about myself in this quest to find creative thinking again. I know that I want more than what I've allowed myself through the purposeful and not so purposeful choices I've made. I know that I want to be me, but just who that is, well I guess I'll have to start choosing to actively look for those wings I say we all get to earn in life. Maybe mine will let me see things in a different perspective and with a better appreciation for life and those walking in different shoes than myself.

1 comment:

crimsonwhiskey said...

Crappers woman! You made me cry & I'm totally sober! Granted, me crying while in an intoxicated or distraught state is nothing new, but I generally don't have tears falling just from reading a blog. Especially yours as you usually don't put so much of yourself into them. I can really really get into this one. :)~

I'm so glad that you take the time to stop in and see me. Talking with you always makes me feel so much better about myself. Even when you don't agree with my life decisions, you are always there for me.

And yes. I love you. There. I said it.

<3,
me